If anyone's verbal or physical behaviour makes you or someone else feel disturbed or uncomfortable, you have the right to speak up. Ignoring it sometimes works, but often harassment continues unless people act positively to stop it. Many targets of harassment laugh at first out of nervousness or embarrassment, but harassers often misunderstand laughter, thinking the target doesn't mind.
Try sounding strong, confident, and assertive, because you know you have the right not to be harassed. Tell them firmly, "That's harassment. I don't like it. I want it to stop." or, "I'm not starting with you. I don't want you starting with me." Talk with them privately or get someone you trust to be there with you.
Sometimes, the person who is harassing is angry about something, and it can help to ask, "What's up? What are you angry about?" or "Why you buggin' me? or "What's eating you? Can I help?" Using insults or threats escalates the problem rather than solving it, and can get you in trouble instead of the person who started it.
Find allies who can speak up with you without threatening the harasser. This does not mean finding someone to make threats, because this escalates the problem, and the harasser will likely just find someone else to threaten them.
If you witness someone harassing someone else, help out the person being harassed by being a good ally - speaking up for them without putting anyone down. Try saying something like, "Hey, chill;" or, "Come on. Stop buggin' them;" or, "Hey, let's knock it off;" or, "I don't think that's funny;" or, "Let's cut it out;" or, "That's mean. Don't go there." Or, speaking to the person being harassed, say, "I think they're being mean. Let's do something else." It's especially effective if two or more allies speak up, because it helps prevent the harasser from turning on the ally. If you're nervous about nonviolently confronting a person who is acting in a harassing way, it is important to seek allies like a friend, residence staff, supervisor, Dean or Harassment Advisor.
If you're disturbed and/or harassment continues, contact your Dean, supervisor or the SHARE Coordinator. If informal methods don't work and/or it's a serious case, you can file a formal harassment complaint through the SHARE Coordinator's Office. You have a right to a safe environment, and professors, staff and administrators are required to respond.
All of us have probably been the targets of harassment and witnessed or participated in picking on someone else. If we remember how it feels to get picked on, analyze our own actions, and understand harassment, we can decide to become allies for each other as we work together to stop all forms of harassment at MTA. |